A True Friend Gets In Your Face

Jonathan was a True Friend to David. A True Friend loves you enough to hate whatever harms you. A True Friend takes the initiative to tell you the Truth, and doesn't minimize the uncomfortable parts what ever the risks.

I wish I had known that. I had a friend once. A good friend. But I lost that relationship in part through my own failure to be a True Friend.

Jonathan faced reality.  My dad's out to kill you. Even if the 'problem' is external I can talk about the impact of that problem on me. Often we don't know or understand and certainly can't judge all the circumstances surrounding the 'problem' as clearly as Jonathan was able to do, yet still we can talk about the impact that it is having on us.

Jonathan did not minimize or spiritualize. I did both. I thought I was being understanding, forgiving, patient, even long suffering. That's spiritualizing. I ignored my feelings and withdrew. That's minimizing - telling myself that it wasn't that big a deal. Eventually it "killed" our relationship,

Jonathan took the initiative to address the problem immediately.  I faced the problem too, finally. When it blew up. It was too late. I had let too much go unspoken.

Jonathan went even though there was risk of negative consequences  As I began to be more aware of what was going on inside me I discovered that much of the real reason why I kept silent was that I was afraid of loosing my friend's approval and respect. That's the Truth. Sad Truth - I loved my own Self more than my friend.  I didn't take the risk of dealing with the issues.

I certainly hope no one is out to kill you. More, I pray that you may have the courage to tell the truth (get in your friend's face) about what's inside you and the impact that is having on you so that you may live into the fullness of True Friendship.

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A Valentine's Hate List

A Hate List? Really? On Valentine's Day?

Yes. Really!

Hold on a moment...What would you think of someone who hates arrogance, lying, deceit, verbal, physical or sexual abuse, embezzlement, hurting innocent people, manipulation, discrimination, cheating on one's spouse?

Would you like to meet someone like that?

OK, maybe not.

But what if I told you that person was not judgmental, is kind, gentle, and forgiving - what then?

Let me introduce you...

There are six things the Lord hates;

seven that are detestable to him:

haughty eyes,

a lying tongue,

hands that shed innocent blood,

a heart that devises wicked schemes,

feet that are quick to rush into evil,

and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

To love well one must be able to hate well. To hate the things that can harm a relationship, destroy friendship, "stir up dissension among brothers." True love asks, "What might harm this relationship? What can I do to make this situation better?"

Remember Jonathan & David? Jonathan hated his own father's evil enough to leave his security, take a risk, and tell David the truth.

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