will you still need me will you still feed me when I'm 64

If you’re old enough, you started humming the 1967 Paul McCartney Beatles tune when you read the title. OK, sing along with the clarinet…

When I get older losing my hair, Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine?
If I'd been out till quarter to three Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.*

One of the most difficult challenges our clients face is asking someone to meet their needs. I can identify. When faced with the question, “What do I need?” I could not answer. My initial response was to wonder what the difference was between a want and a need. Isn’t it selfish to say I need “X”? I thought, there are many things I want, but nothing I really need. After all, I’m not starving or living in some third world country.

Here’s what I discovered. A Want is a desire, something I like, enjoy, something that ‘feels’ good and makes life pleasant. But I do not have to have it. A Need, in contrast, is something without which I am diminished, harmed, damaged. I am missing out on something God intended for me – physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally.

Our Lord taught us that our Heavenly Father is waiting for us to ask for our needs to be met. James says we “have not” because we have not asked, or we have not asked well.

Meier-New Life Clinic offers four steps for getting our needs met in a healthy way:
1. Identify your need.
2. Ask specifically for your need to be met.
3. Give freedom for other person to say “Yes” or “No.”
4. Receive, value, and be grateful for either a “Yes” or “No” without judgment or condemnation.

Who we ask depends on what the need is… I’m learning to be able to tell Jane what I need. She tells me what she needs. How about you? How will I know what you need? Will you tell me?

Paul McCartney got it right, I will need you. Will you need me?