GET OVER IT!

How do you feel when somebody says that to you?

Three years ago and eight weeks before Heather and Ian’s wedding, Jane broke a bone in her right foot. She hobbled around for a week before getting treatment … a large boot to protect the whole foot and lower leg. Fortunately her foot healed in time to wear nice shoes for the wedding. Once in a while, if she bangs it in a certain way, Jane still feels the pain of that old wound.

It happens in relationships, too. Old wounds surface. We get “tweaked” and feel old pain from something that hurt us in the past. Even though we believe we have forgiven that person.

When someone hurts us we hurt. Try as we might, we can’t just say, “OK, I’m not going to let that bother me any more,” and forget about it. (Unless we minimize it, deny it, or stuff it.) Only those with no past have nothing to forgive!

Come Sunday, I find myself repeating the words, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” but I still hurt, feel angry or want to ‘get even.’

What’s so hard about forgiveness anyway? Maybe we feel that forgiveness means we have to accept or even condone the other person’s actions. Forgive 70 x 7? Sounds like a license to let them keep on hurting me. If I forgive…….they get away with it. Second, even when we try to “forgive” we may be left with negative feelings we just can’t shake.
Let’s get a couple of things straight:
• Forgiveness does not remove the need to confront ‘bad’ behavior. It does not grant immunity. God has covered (forgiven) all our transgressions – but he does not overlook our sin.
• Forgiveness is sacrificial - giving up our right to get even, to level the playing field. It leaves justice in the hands of God.
• Forgiveness is for our benefit though it involves suffering. Just as our Lord is said to be “a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” When we forgive we grieve our loss. The loss of what might have been. Cloud & Townsend are on target when they write , “The most basic means of choosing our own way and not God’s is to decide not to suffer.”

One more thing. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is…me! “I feel so guilty,” “I know God has forgiven me, but I just can’t forgive myself.” If you have ever felt that way you are not alone. But know this: trying harder does not help. As C&T have pointed out in many places, the opposite of feeling bad is not feeling good, it is feeling loved. As we extend forgiveness we will experience forgiveness – and discover that we are loved.

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive

those who trespass against us.