Baggage

     If you could snap your fingers and accomplish a dream you once had – what would that be? In my case it was the restoration of a railroad baggage wagon. It all started in the ‘70’s at Ponderosa Lodge, Mount Hermon Christian Camp where they used railroad baggage wagons to transport campers’ luggage to their cabins and as serving ‘tables’ for picnic dinners and banana split night – I wanted one of those! I’m a railroad buff. I love old trains. I play with electric trains at Christmas.
     Nearly 25 years ago I got my wish – sort of. Amtrak was trashing their rubbish. Five bucks got me four Goodrich Industrial solid rubber tires, spoked wheels, steel braces, rods and a whole bunch of heavy oak timber. Seemed like a great idea. Someday that bunch of junk would become an original early 1900’s Northern Pacific Railroad baggage wagon. We would use it in the same way Ponderosa Lodge did – for entertaining.
     It was a fun project at first. The kids put a coat of protective paint on all the wood. We made a huge mess. Then the dream died. Time passed. The dream seemed kind of silly. It was a long shot and I’d probably screw it up. It would take time away from other urgent matters. I told myself it wasn’t that important, it wasn’t practical. I let it slide into the dustbin of “someday.” Once in a while the kids would ask, “Dad, when are you going to build that baggage wagon?” Jane attempted to encourage me on. I’d move (really heavy) stuff around and think, “I really should finish this”…but it never happened. Truth is, the dream was literally gathering grime, cluttering up my garage, getting in the way.
     Until about two months ago. Our daughter Cheryl was scheduled to leave for Army boot camp. More than anything I wanted to spend some quality time with her before she left. Cheryl’s good with tools, a hard worker and had often encouraged me to finish the wagon. She agreed to work on it with me.
     Still, I wasn’t confident I could pull it off. I had no construction plans, just an idea of what it was supposed to look like. Could I figure out how it went together? Did I have all the pieces? Was I doing it right? Would Jane be upset with all the money spent if it didn’t turn out right? Would it be a waste of time?
     As the hours and the evenings passed working with Cheryl in our garage, the conversations, the sense of common purpose and connection, the growing sense of pride in our accomplishment grew. I began to realize that even if it didn’t turn out exactly as I had hoped, my original dream was becoming a part of fulfilling a much larger dream, a longing, a passion………drawing close to my kids.
     As work continued I was able to shed some of my own baggage. Four fears had held me back but when the project became part of living out my core values I could overcome those fears and move forward. The ancient cart was fully restored. It was all I had hoped for – and so much more!

It’s Your Turn –

What do you really want?
What’s holding you back? Could it be …

• Fear of Dreaming – It’s silly to think like that!
• Fear of Failure – What if I can’t finish?
• Fear of Upsetting Someone – What will “they” think or say?
• Fear of Consequences – What if I spend time and money and it doesn’t turn out?

(To see additional pictures of the restoration go to:
http://picasaweb.google.com/revted47/NorthernPacificBaggageWagonRestoration#
For best viewing click on ‘Slideshow’ just above the first picture.)

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You & I Messages

 

It’s about how adults talk to one another………

Pop Quiz – what problems can you identify in the following statements?

• Don’t get mad at me.
• Stop treating me like a child.
• You make me so mad!
• You’re not listening.
• Stop yelling!
• Why can’t you get it?

     Imagine that the conversation is between you and me. All of them say something about you – but not about me. They are “you” messages.

     “You” messages stir up defensiveness and drive us apart. “You” messages assume we know  the other person’s motives, thoughts, and feelings. Our (negative) judgments are reflected in our statements about what the other person is (or isn’t) doing.

     In reality, a difficult situation between two individuals can only be resolved in a healthy (and Biblical) way when people are able to talk about what is happening inside themselves – “I” messages. What am I feeling? What are my motives and deeper thoughts? Problem is…many times we do not know what we are feeling. We think we do. We say we do. But when challenged to identify what we are feeling at a deeper level in an uncomfortable moment we find ourselves at a loss for words.

     “I” messages require unveiled honesty with ourselves. They are a product of “walking in the light as He himself is in the light” and result in drawing us closer together – “we have fellowship with one another.” (1 Jn. 1:7 )

     How could you alter each of the statements above to become “I” messages? What might be going on inside the person making each of those statements? 

 

For example: 

• “Don’t get mad at me” might become, “I’m feeling like you are angry with me. Are you?” or “Are you upset with me?”
• Instead of “Stop treating me like a child” one might say, “Right now I feel like a little kid. I’m having a hard time acting like an adult.”

OK - your turn...

 

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