will you still need me will you still feed me when I'm 64

If you’re old enough, you started humming the 1967 Paul McCartney Beatles tune when you read the title. OK, sing along with the clarinet…

When I get older losing my hair, Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine?
If I'd been out till quarter to three Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.*

One of the most difficult challenges our clients face is asking someone to meet their needs. I can identify. When faced with the question, “What do I need?” I could not answer. My initial response was to wonder what the difference was between a want and a need. Isn’t it selfish to say I need “X”? I thought, there are many things I want, but nothing I really need. After all, I’m not starving or living in some third world country.

Here’s what I discovered. A Want is a desire, something I like, enjoy, something that ‘feels’ good and makes life pleasant. But I do not have to have it. A Need, in contrast, is something without which I am diminished, harmed, damaged. I am missing out on something God intended for me – physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally.

Our Lord taught us that our Heavenly Father is waiting for us to ask for our needs to be met. James says we “have not” because we have not asked, or we have not asked well.

Meier-New Life Clinic offers four steps for getting our needs met in a healthy way:
1. Identify your need.
2. Ask specifically for your need to be met.
3. Give freedom for other person to say “Yes” or “No.”
4. Receive, value, and be grateful for either a “Yes” or “No” without judgment or condemnation.

Who we ask depends on what the need is… I’m learning to be able to tell Jane what I need. She tells me what she needs. How about you? How will I know what you need? Will you tell me?

Paul McCartney got it right, I will need you. Will you need me?

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Lessons From LOST

Not the show. I mean lost, as in: Really Lost.

It happened last week driving from Seattle, WA. to Princeton, NJ. After visiting friends in the Chicago area, son Daniel and I were headed out bound for Cleveland, OH in a blinding downpour. And fog. Dense fog. Driving was miserable. Nearly bumper to bumper traffic. I could barely see the cars around me. I concentrated all my senses on staying in my lane, not too close or too far from the car in front of me. Dan was asleep.

Suddenly my Bluetooth earpiece was buzzing. Back in Seattle Jane was wondering were we were. At 80 mph. you can go a long way in a couple of hours. Just as I was about to say that we were making a mad dash for Cleveland, through the slightest sliver of grey sky, I caught sight of a bright blue sign overhead informing me that I was . . . in Michigan and not far from Detroit!

In a flash I hung up the phone, woke up Daniel and took the next exit!

I was focused. I was fast. And I was faraway from our intended destination.

It is important to be Focused. It takes concentrated discipline. Until we focus and define what is most important to us we live in a fog of other-directed urgencies. But focus is simply not enough. I needed someone to come alongside and help me see what I could not see on my own.

It’s good to be Fast. Efficient. Productive. But it’s not enough. Deep, lasting satisfaction is expressed by something we call “Fulfillment.”

Fulfillment comes from arriving at a place that has long-term meaning and value. Fulfillment is not only arriving, but knowing that we are where we truly want to be. Fulfillment is beyond Focus, Balance, Success, or Productivity. Knowing the difference will determine what actions you take: those you purposefully choose to ignore or decline and the ones that will lead to a meaningful end.

Life Coaching is designed to help achieve fulfillment and help you stay focused by asking those open-ended questions that keep your eyes on the prize.

Call for a free get-acquainted session: 425-275-7317

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